


now or never now

by sayounarahitori



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Getting Together, Grinding, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-22 15:54:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22652461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sayounarahitori/pseuds/sayounarahitori
Summary: Ten can always be too much, but today is a new high even for him, especially considering Kun is live on instagram.Too bad that he doesn't actually mind.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun
Comments: 53
Kudos: 689





	now or never now

**Author's Note:**

> a coda to [this infamous kunten live](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jK7bB3nfDWg) (pls watch if you haven't)
> 
> as always, thanks to [doyoubuns](https://twitter.com/doyoubuns) for brainstorming! <3

He barely presses the button to end the live - yes, he knows how to, thank you very much - before Ten is once again by his side, even closer now.

"What are you doing? I told you, go to bed," Kun huffs.

"I am in bed."

"You're in my bed."

It's ridiculous how he already knows the words will have zero effect on Ten. Indeed, he just snuggles closer into Kun's side. Kun violently resists how good it makes him feel.

"Really, what's your problem?" Kun looks at him. Ten stares back innocently. "Are you lonely?"

Because, well, Ten does get extra touchy and antsy when he's lonely, and Kun really can't help indulging him — though not on camera, of course. But... Ten seems fine, if a bit too hyper today, considering they were planning to rest and stay in.

"What's my problem? There's no problem," Ten replies, grinning, trying to get under Kun's arm. Kun slaps him above the elbow without thinking. Ten pouts, rubbing his skin, and Kun almost buys into it but registers the glint in Ten's eye. Right. He forgot who he's dealing with, for a moment.

"Then did you maybe forget you have your own room?" Kun asks, aiming for stern and not getting anywhere, because Ten is still there, tugging on his arm and trying to burrow under Kun's covers.

"Mmhmm," Ten hums and slips further under the blanket.

He looks so comfy there, so right, that Kun imagines, just for a moment, giving in and letting him stay. Slipping under the covers with him, lying there, Ten nuzzling into him and… oh god, what? No, no no no.

"Come on, you have the exact same bed!" Kun exclaims, voice raised a bit.

Ten murmurs something, too low to hear.

"What?" Kun asks, bending down, closer to him.

"Don't wanna," Ten repeats just under his breath, and then he's tugging Kun closer and trying to get him there, under the covers next to himself.

Kun struggles valiantly. He tries to shake Ten off, but the grip Ten has on him is unrelenting, so Kun goes for the next best thing — which is rolling over in an attempt to get rid of him.

He barely registers the determined look that meets his gaze when he glances at his opponent. "Oh, it's on," Ten mutters and flips them over.

The next few minutes are full of roughhousing, Ten pulling out every trick in his book, kicking and biting, but Kun is proud to admit he also knows Ten's weaknesses, so all in all, it's a pretty fair fight.

Kun fights and rolls and tickles until finally he has Ten under him. They are both breathing fast, and Kun tries very hard not to think about their position, how close Ten's flushed face is, how Ten is biting his lip, and how Kun himself must look.

"Are you going to go to your own room now?" he asks, aiming for stern again, even though it never works with Ten.

Ten rolls his eyes and wiggles a bit. "How can I go when I have all this weighing me down?"

Kun shakes his head, frustrated, and makes a move to get up and away.

Only — he can't, because he feels strong thighs on both sides of him, and Ten, he has— he has actually locked his legs behind Kun and is now staring at him, a challenge in his eyes.

"I can't believe you," Kun says, astonished. "Let go."

"Hmph. No."

"Seriously, Ten, what?" Kun tries to laugh, but it gets stuck in his throat. He doesn't understand how this could have happened: one minute they were doing their own things, even streaming a goddamn live, and now he— he has Ten under him, all perfect long legs and smug face and god, it feels right, it feels perfect, somehow. He doesn't want to think what that means.

"I really would rather stay," Ten says, his voice softer, "gege."

Kun can actually feel himself flushing — he needs to get away, now. He tries to shake Ten's legs off, but they are holding him in a death grip, so he rolls over once again, but Ten is even stronger than he could've thought, so he ends up below Ten — Ten who is smirking now, on his elbows above him, with his damned legs still around Kun's lower body.

This is so much not what he wanted.

"What are you playing at?" Kun tries his best to sound annoyed instead of a mix of exasperated and fond. "Really… You should go."

He turns his face, because Ten is really so, so close, and Kun is maybe having trouble breathing.

Ten sighs and buries his face under Kun's jaw. Kun freezes.

"What do I do to convince you to let me stay," Ten mumbles.

God, why does he have to sound like that — and of course, Kun is not stupid, they both know what it's all like, but… but… it can't be happening. This is Ten, and this is him, and Kun knows how things are.

"Ten, come on," he says once again, his own voice foreign in his ears.

"Don't wanna," Ten whines, and Kun knows that he is doing it to get under Kun's skin, he knows that it's on purpose, and yet — god, he just can't.

"Seriously!" he exclaims louder and slaps Ten on his very naked thigh.

Ten's hips jut forward, and then they both still.

Oh.

Okay. Well.

They have been playing this for a while now, Ten riling Kun up in various ways, — and while he knew, theoretically, of some possible implications, he never considered that anything could actually come of it. It just didn't seem plausible, that Ten would actually mean anything by his... flirting.

Ten flirts with everyone, right? He just can't… they can't possibly…

He senses a hint of motion, as if Ten is maybe trying to finally get off him. Without thinking, Kun presses his hand, the one still lying on Ten's thigh, harder into his skin, and feels Ten exhale into his neck.

He would stop, he would, if only Ten wasn't… Ten, if he wasn't so close, so warm, heavy and whining and stupid, so stupid.

"Tennie," Kun breathes out and is immediately terrified of just how off his voice sounds. But he needs to know Ten's okay with whatever is happening, since he can't even see his face.

Ten murmurs something, but it's too low and muffled for Kun to hear.

"What?" he asks, heart in his throat.

Ten raises his head. His expression is wild, face pink and hair disheveled, and mouth looking bitten to death.

"I said, is that all you can do?" Ten repeats arrogantly, but Kun can see the way he gulps right after.

Kun raises his eyebrow at him, and then, very determinedly, not losing eye contact, squeezes Ten's thigh, nails digging in. Ten's mouth opens, but he doesn't make a sound. "Is this what you're asking for?" Kun mutters, feeling Ten's legs tighten around him. "Or this?"

With that, he slaps his other hand against Ten's other thigh. The whole thing feels absolutely insane, so much so that Kun can't even properly process his own actions. But Ten jerks against him again, his eyes closing, and lets out a gasp.

He looks beautiful like this, all strained and tense like a bow, and Kun is overcome with a desire to see him undone, to be the one to make Ten breathe faster, shake harder, to have him in his hands and feel all of it happen.

And he can. He feels heady with the thought that he does, indeed, have Ten in his hands, rubbing the skin lightly and then harder, until Ten moans softly and drops his head against Kun's neck, and, fuck.

Kun doesn't know at which point Ten has dropped his whole weight onto him, but he knows that he can feel him now, hard against Kun's thigh, grinding down, seemingly without realising, because in the next moment Ten exhales something resembling "sorry" into his neck.

Kun thinks that they're rather past the point of sorry.

"It's okay," he murmurs, so terribly out of his element, and feels Ten's hands on him — one in his hair and the other grasping the fabric of his t-shirt, fingers grazing the skin under.

Kun lets one of his hands slide up higher on Ten's body, settling on his waist like he's holding something precious — and he is. The most precious thing he's ever held.

Ten exhales into his neck, lips pressing to the skin, and Kun feels him relax a little, and maybe that is also what he wants, for Ten to feel safe, and relaxed, and good.

"Kun," he hears him murmur, soft but still audible.

Kun grabs his thigh, and Ten actually moans, right under Kun's ear, his hot breath making Kun shiver, and then grinds harder, desperation bleeding out.

"That's it," Kun whispers. God, he never thought he would be into… any of this, and maybe it's weird because he's barely aware of his own body, just fully concentrated on Ten, the sound of his shuddering breaths, the fluttering of his eyelashes against Kun's neck, the death grip of his thighs, his fresh hair that Ten himself claims smells of like five different herbs but Kun only ever catches lavender — the way he feels and weighs and smells and sounds. He’s so close, and it just feels so right, and Kun is helpless when his mouth opens, spills, “You sound so lovely.”

“I’ve— wanted this— for so long,” Ten suddenly whispers, and Kun’s eyes fly open.

“Yeah?” he replies, voice broken by shock, but of course Ten probably just takes it as a result of the… situation they’re in.

“God, you have no idea,” Ten sounds frantic, fervent, just like his movements are, and Kun strokes his back and his thigh without thinking. “You’re so… you, it’s impossible not to touch you, impossible not to want to be close, I can’t stop looking and thinking that I want to,” he takes a breath, his hips stuttering, “grab you close, push my fingers into your hair,” he tightens his grip on Kun’s nape, “kiss the mole under your eye, and, and, everything— god—”

And Kun just lies there.

Kun just lies there, holding Ten, and he has nothing to reply to this— this… confession? Is that what it is? His brain can't wrap around it. How is he supposed to just go on knowing that, how can he just nod and go on with his life, with Ten's whispers in his head: want to be close, want to touch, grab, kiss — everything. He said he wants everything.

He's only brought out of his shock by Ten shifting, rising up, and Kun sees a little bit of his face — fear and shame all over it.

“No, Tennie—” he reaches out, but Ten pushes his hand off, finally unlocking his legs and moving away, while Kun just. Stares.

He is only brought into action when Ten, after a few moments of absolute silence, starts to get off the bed.

“Ten, I didn’t— hey, hey, don’t go,” Kun pleads. “I’m sorry, I—”

“I get it,” Ten cuts him off, sounding tight and cold, nothing like the warm and pliant creature that was splayed all over Kun just moments ago. “I’m sorry. You said it yourself, I have my own bed.”

Kun doesn't think, just glomps him.

Ten yelps in surprise, and they nearly fall off the bed, until Kun repositions them so that he’s lying on top of Ten who looks… well, displeased is an understatement.

“No, listen,” Kun says frantically when Ten opens his mouth, “I just was caught off-guard, and… it’s true that I haven’t thought of it before, whether because I didn’t allow myself or for some other reason, and, I,” he scrambles, trying to pick up his scattered thoughts, put them into words he’s never told anybody before. “I don't really... imagine stuff, I guess, and maybe I don't want things like you do," he winces, because it sounds weirdly accusatory, but god, he's trying, okay? "But I do want you... close, closer than anybody else, and it was. It was," he swallows in frustration. "Good. It was good and I want to make you feel good."

Ten swallows audibly, bites his lip, but he's stopped fighting Kun, so that's something.

"You're so... you," Kun says, belatedly realising he's throwing Ten's words back at him. "I didn't think to even imagine anything like this. I couldn't have."

Ten lets out a mirthless laugh.

"Are you dumb? I've been throwing myself at you for the—" he winces and turns his head away.

Kun feels his heart clench.

"Sorry," he says again, hesitantly reaching out and putting Ten's hair out of his face, and then lets his hand stay on Ten's cheek. "Sorry, I'm a bit stupid about these things."

"I've noticed," Ten grumbles, but he doesn't actually sound bitter, not anymore. "You're stupid about a lot of things."

"Hey!"

"Hey," Ten throws back at him, but softer, finally turning his head and facing Kun.

And Kun can see the way Ten studies him, takes in all of Kun that he can get, and he feels so exposed, but so, so warm. Kun can see Ten's gaze rest on his lips and the moment Ten realises that Kun has caught him.

"You…" Ten starts, stops. Laughs. "I don't get you."

Kun doesn't really get it either.

"It's okay," he says. Words are so hard. "It's okay," he repeats helplessly, then leans down and kisses Ten.

Ten latches onto him immediately, grabbing Kun's head and his shoulder, pressing closer and whimpering before they even start actually kissing. Kun tries to soothe him, stroking his cheek and hair, but it seems like Ten wants something different, maybe — something more.

Kun presses down into him.

Ten moans brokenly into his mouth, wrapping legs around Kun once again, and this time, Kun welcomes it — this time, he just kisses him harder, pulled into Ten’s desperation like into a whirlwind. It’s all wet and heated and tender, and some part of him is still unsettled, is still wondering just what he is doing.

Kun lets it go. He lets the thoughts flow and himself move, disappearing into Ten's touches, into the hot heaven of his mouth, into the rhythm of their grinding.

It's different than anything he's done or felt before, and maybe, if not for Ten, he would not care.

If not for Ten, many things would be different.

They part, Kun thinks — to breathe a little, but there's a hint of hesitation in Ten's eyes, a shadow of fear he's already seen. It stings, and Kun leans down, kisses Ten's cheekbone, his jaw. He feels stupid, like the only thing he knows is to be gentle, when it's clear Ten wants something different.

"Sorry—" he starts, but Ten stops him with a finger on his lips.

"Don't," Ten says, sounding harsh. "Unless you want to stop—"

"I don't."

"Good."

Ten licks his lips. Kun kisses him again.

It's different than just touching him, than simple grinding, because it's as if all that Ten's feeling pours into Kun through their connected mouths, as if they're sharing something besides just air and spit.

Ten seems — feels — calmer somewhat, his lips moving slowly but insistently. Kun shivers at the sensation of Ten's tongue in his mouth, and he knows Ten feels it because there's a short laugh in the non-existent space between them. Kun thinks: okay, — and moves to press a kiss to Ten's ear.

Ten immediately grabs him harder, and Kun allows himself a little smile, trying to lick around the earrings. He hopes for a sound, at least a whimper, but instead, Ten presses his face into Kun.

"I still feel so exposed," Ten mutters. "It's stupid."

"It's not," Kun whispers and feels Ten shudder in his arms. "Tell me, what can I do?"

Ten seems to think about it. "Get off me," he commands.

Kun does.

The moment he moves back, though, Ten pushes him so his back hits the mattresses and then sits on top, pinning him down.

Kun stares.

He's so— perfect like this, astride Kun's hips, hair a mess, lips shiny and red, eyes hooded, completely mesmerizing. He's tense, as if still not completely sure of himself, and Kun wants to help him relax, but this, here… it's Ten's turn, Ten's time.

"Tennie," he murmurs, settling his hands on Ten's waist, sliding them lower to where his shorts begin.

"Do you feel good?" Ten asks suddenly.

"What?"

"Do — you — feel — good?" Ten repeats, punctuating every word with a grind down.

Kun gasps. It's true, then, he didn't pay much attention to his own arousal — and it's good, it is. He just wants more of Ten, looking at him, feeling him, hearing him.

"Yeah," he says in a rough voice. "Come here."

Ten bends down, but instead of kissing Kun, he presses his lips to Kun's jaw, his neck. Kun shivers, fingers tightening on Ten's skin, and Ten hums in appreciation.

"You smell so good," Ten whispers, licks at the shell of Kun's ear. "Do you have any idea how— ah, fuck—" he whimpers when Kun slides his hands even lower and presses Ten down, closer, getting the friction they — but most importantly, Ten — need. "Kun—"

"I'm here," Kun says without thinking, realising belatedly that he's wanted to say it for quite some time. Ten's legs tighten around his, the sensation exciting, the hot feeling coiling in his stomach.

God, Kun still can't wrap his mind around this.

He melts into the mattress, something exploding inside of him every time Ten presses their lips together, every time he feels the touch of his hands as Ten claws at him needily. It's exhilariting, but— Kun hesitantly brings his hands up and clutches Ten's face.

Ten backs off slightly, confused.

"Just wanted to see you," Kun admits, doubly embarrassed at how breathless he sounds.

Ten bends down, nuzzles. The gesture is so unexpected, so… cute, that Kun just stares, as much as he can with Ten's face so close.

"Got enough?" Ten asks, smile blinding.

"Never," Kun murmurs, and Ten's eyes widen before he hides his rapidly flushing face in Kun's neck.

"Agh Kun, no…"

Kun pets him. It's impossible to resist — his head is just there, hair fluffy and soft in its natural state, — and he doesn't particularly try. Ten whines low in his throat, hips stuttering. He's still hard, but he doesn't try to grind, seemingly content just to lie on Kun like that.

Kun has never felt more comfortable.

This time, when he angles Ten's head so he can lightly nip at the tip of his ear, he gets a reaction — a surprised giggle. He takes it as an encouragement and kisses down, down, lips fluttering around Ten's earrings until he finds free skin he can bite on.

Ten arches so prettily, and Kun wants — more, more of this, more of Ten, so he encourages him to move his head up, and there it is, right before him — a beautiful canvas, a vast expanse of neck and collarbones, and Kun nuzzles it at first until Ten starts whining impatiently. Kun can't help a chuckle then, but he obliges, starts pressing soft kisses, then licking, then, finally, biting.

He barely hears when the first "please" escapes Ten, as faint and frankly unexpected as it is. But then Ten repeats it, louder, almost a moan, and Kun is absolutely helpless — he feels like he would do anything right now just to keep Ten making those sounds, just to see his face screwed up in pleasure, just to know that he is making him feel good.

"What," Kun nips at the spot under Ten's ear and is rewarded with a soft, lovely gasp, "do you want?"

He is ready for different answers — maybe Ten wants to actually be touched without all the clothes in the way, maybe there's a specific place on his neck that he likes, maybe he wants Kun to help him come, — but instead, Ten makes a sound like a sob and says, "Youyouyouyouyou."

In the next second, they are kissing again, and Kun forgets how this could have felt even mildly wrong. His hands slide down Ten's arms and lower, until he grips Ten's hips, riding his shorts up. Everything turns hazy, the only thing clear before Kun is Ten, his lovely voice, his beautiful expressions, his satisfying shudders.

It's captivating — addictive, even. Kun is briefly struck by the thought that he's the one Ten is trusting enough to see him like this, and he lets out a small whine of his own which Ten seems ridiculously excited about, because he interrupts the kiss and the grinding and pulls away just to grin at Kun.

Kun can feel the remains of his sanity slip away, his entire brain filled up by Ten's brilliant smile.

He raises his hands to frame Ten's face, watches Ten nuzzle into them like a kitten. Feels the touch of Ten's lips on his palm, tongue peeking out and licking. God.

"I love your hands," he hears Ten whisper.

Kun realises right then that if he doesn't stop Ten in his tracks, he will continue spouting these things, and then Kun— he doesn't know what he'll do, but he's not ready to find out. Not yet.

So he does the first thing that comes to mind — he grinds up into Ten, getting a sharp inhale in response.

"Again," Ten demands, and Kun complies. Ten falls back onto him fully, one leg slotting inbetween Kun's, breathing hard, desperate and lovely. Kun hesitantly settles his hands on Ten's hips, fingers grazing lightly the skin where Ten's shorts have ridden up.

Ten mumbles something that sounds like Kun's name, and Kun presses a kiss to his temple, feeling Ten's hands clutch at his shoulders. He wants to give Ten more, he wants… more.

"Will you come for me?" he asks, briefly stunned by his own voice, how hopeful and unsure it sounds, as if Ten isn't obviously well on his way to completion. There's a part of him that wants Ten to talk, wants words to frame what's happening right now. "I want to make you come."

Ten whines low, raises his head from where he was breathing hard into Kun's neck. His eyes shine so bright, and Kun kisses him mindlessly despite the fact that Ten still hasn't answered. It's a wet, filthy kiss that barely even feels like one, but the sounds Ten makes into his mouth are worth it.

Kun bucks his thigh up, feeling Ten twitch against him, and swallows the moan he gets in return.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, feeling like a dam has burst and he can finally let all the words spill from his lips, "so wonderful, you feel so good, want you to come like this, come on, Tennie—"

Ten's rhythm falters, becomes more purposeful, his hands squeezing Kun's shoulders while Kun continues whispering praises and small, meaningless confessions. It's not particularly dirty, but maybe Ten doesn't mind.

Ten, who is whispering his name, grinding and grinding and grinding, covering Kun with his body. Ten, who has clung to him all day, who wanted to kiss him, who chose to come bother Kun on their off day, who always comes to bother Kun, and Kun is completely overwhelmed by how much he loves his touches, his attention, his legs squeezed tightly around Kun's, loves Ten's broken moans and gasps, loves his smirks and smiles, loves—

Ten freezes, holding Kun in a death grip, and Kun can feel him pulse and release against his thigh, which he tightens several times to help Ten along. Ten gasps and shudders a couple more times before finally relaxing, his whole body sinking onto Kun.

Kun is stuck between staying where he is, stroking Ten's back, hugging him close, and reaching out to find something to help him clean up. Before he can decide, Ten's head whips up and Kun is met with a calculating expression.

"What?" he asks, stunned, instead of saying anything about… well, what just happened.

"Oh, Kun-ge," Ten says in a hoarse voice, exasperation mixed with affection and amusement. "You really are this self-sacrificing."

"I'm not—" Kun starts, but chokes on his words when Ten presses his thigh down where Kun is, unsurprisingly, still hard. "Ah, Tennie, you don't have to—"

Ten reluctantly moves back. "You don't want to?" he says, sounding slightly hurt.

Kun is not sure, honestly. "You don't need to," is what he settles on.

Ten's face falls slightly, but then he seems to get a hold of it. "That's not what I asked," he says quietly.

"Yeah," Kun confirms. He can't stop himself from reaching out and drawing Ten in a kiss, and Ten goes willingly, smiling into Kun's mouth. They kiss lazily, Kun feeling relaxed and warm and content despite his erection, but then Ten pulls away slightly and whispers, "But let me try something?"

Kun nods.

Ten's smile is very bright when he draws back, and Kun almost asks him to come back and kiss some more, but then Ten presses his lips to Kun's jaw, gentle and barely there at first. He grows bolder gradually, teeth grazing the skin on Kun's neck and collarbones.

Kun's gaze flicks down to the dark spot on Ten's shorts — that can't be comfortable, he thinks, — but then Ten moves lower, licking one of Kun's nipples through his shirt. It honestly doesn't do much for him, except that Kun still shudders out of surprise. Ten hums thoughtfully, but continues kissing lower and Kun belatedly realises, horrified, what Ten is about to do.

"Oh, Ten, you—" he starts saying, but Ten just smirks and exhales warmly, making Kun choke on his words. He starts by mouthing at Kun through his pants, and it already feels so ridiculously good, and oh god, Kun is not going to last.

He wants to say something to that effect, but it gets stuck in his throat at the way Ten is nuzzling into his crotch, hands now toying with Kun's waistband. All Kun can do is stare, elbows barely supporting him, as Ten does whatever he wants.

It's impossible that what he wants is this, and yet.

Ten's fingers slip under Kun's pants, nails scratching the sensitive skin below, and just as his mouth presses, hot and wet and open and right where Kun needs it — it's over.

"Ten—" is what Kun manages to say before he's coming, release flooding his senses, and at least Ten gets it quickly, pressing closer and rubbing him through it.

Kun shudders through his orgasm, unable to keep his eyes open and see Ten right there, with him. The reality of it washes over him like a cold shower.

He keeps his eyes squeezed tight even when it's over, and Ten has laid his head down on his thigh. He's not even sure what he feels — embarrassment? mortification? shock? Yes, maybe he's in shock.

And yet, something bleeds out of his heart and into his entire body, something warm and desperate, something that makes him reach his hands out and tug Ten up, closer, closer.

When Kun finally opens his eyes, he sees Ten studying him with apprehension that vanishes almost instantly once their gazes meet. Ten stares at his face unabashedly, and it takes Kun all of his mental strength not to squirm.

It's hard to admit how much he wants to look back, to memorise every line of Ten's face, maybe make him squirm in return — because Kun knows perfectly well how despite his nonchalant demeanor Ten can get flustered under too much attention.

And it's not like he even has to hide, after they, well. After everything that just happened.

But it still feels like if he looks at Ten for too long, the precarious peaceful feeling will shatter under scrutiny.

Instead, he compromises, wrapping his hands tighter around Ten's body, arranging them into something more comfortable, something very close to...

"Oh, so now you want to cuddle," Ten finally breaks the silence, ridiculously smug. He looks so, so cute, pleased and relaxed, but Kun is not going to tell him that. At least, not right now.

"What I _really_ want is a shower," he complains, even as they settle into one another.

"Mhm," Ten mumbles, making zero attempts to let go. God, Kun knew this — he knew if he allowed him to get close, there would be no going back.

But as his body melts into Ten's, their arms and legs and faces coming closer almost without any conscious effort, Kun thinks that maybe he can live with that.


End file.
